Thursday, 9 January 2014

Babuji – The Sanskari Vigilante

Some 9 years after the asanskaari Britishers left the country for good, a doctor shouted, “badhai ho, babuji huye hain.” A soothing breeze started blowing, the incense sticks lightened up all of a sudden. Gods rejoiced. The world, brimming with chaos, disorder and degrading family values, gave birth to a vigilante. He was born with a divine tilak on his forehead, and with a complete set of Bhushan Kumar’sbhajans and aartis. He blessed the doctors and offered to do the kanyadan of all the nurses.
Growing up, his life changed when he saw his closest friends being overpowered by porn in the dark alley behind the park. He vowed to fight off the evil asanskaaris till his last breath and to avenge his friend’s lost morality. He took upon himself to teach values to the rest of humanity straying from the ethical path.
His fatheronce told him, “With great sanskaar, comes greater responsibility.” Alok Nath strategically chose the virtual, 70mm medium to increase the reach of his sanskaar. He pledged to never play a role other than babuji. At an age where Hrithik Roshan plays a superhero, Alok Nath played  babuji. It is only due to babuji’s sanskaar that Salman is a virgin till date.
The superhuman sanskaars don’t come without challenges. Over the years, babuji has faced and defeated bad guys countless number of times. His first major nemesis was Prem Chopra. He raped girls by the dozens. Babuji had personally done their kanyadaans and couldn’t bear this anymore. When they came face to face one night, babuji launched his sanskaar attack and Prem Chopra is yet to rape another victim. Similar is the case with the ultimate badass guy – Gulshan Grover. One fine day he ran into Babuji and his badass antics toned down a bit.
For years, Alok Nath safeguarded his alter ego Babuji from the social media fanatics. A minor slip up and he was all over the network. Accepting the direct threat it could bring down, he didn’t deny it and in a press conference, admitted, “I am babuji.” It sent waves of terror down the spines of the asanskaari.His biggest nemesis Yo Yo Mandarin dared to tease his bahu out in the night. Babuji kicked his sorry ass right in his own den. Yo Yo flew off but his songs are still terrorizing millions. Babuji is our last hope and I am sure he will not let us down.
Everybody needs a hero. Babuji is a hero the world needs. You can take away his property, you can take away his bank balance, but there is one thing you can’t take away – his sanskaar.

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