Tuesday, 1 October 2013

The Dread Zone - Friend Zone !!

The President,
Zone Allocation Department,
Relationship Regulation Committee,
Sector 68, Base 1,
Boyfriend Zone.

Dated – 14th February,2013

Subject – Request for change of permanent address from Friend Zone to Boyfriend Zone (or closer).

Respected Ma’m,
I am writing this letter with reference to the WhatsApp message by Miss Shael dated 10th Feb,2013 wherein she has addressed to me as a ‘friend’ although I have always hated that description. A self-attested copy of the message along with a detailed WhatsApp chat history, her Facebook profile link has been attached with this letter.

The conflict started when I saw her for the first time at party with her jerk of a so-called boyfriend. I fell for her then and there (under the effect of some vodka shots, got some bruises). A week later she broke up with that jerk and we met again at the store. We chatted for a while, she gave me her number and we started WhatApp-ing thereafter.

Couple of month or so later, I messaged her asking her to be my valentine. She replied with a ‘lol :D’. A minute later she messaged ‘ur cho chweet, I lof ya ma frnd’. I sent this message to my friend in Germany for decoding. The decoded transcript broke my heart to countless pieces. Dammit, I said.

It’s a kind request to you to please take note of the issue and enforce the required action. I am tired of living in Friend Zone. Kindly grant me the visa to Boyfriend Zone as a permanent resident.

 Hopeful of a positive reply.
Thank you.

Yours faithfully,
Gangaram Pandit,
Base [-ve 741852963] (far away from Base 1)
Brahmcharya Division,
StuckHereForever Street,
Friend Zone (near Brother Zone).

Disclaimer - This is fictional take on similar issues. The author holds no grudges with anyone and should not be held accountable.

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