Compact Disks and Nostalgia

My laptop has aged well. Still works like a charm. No out of the ordinary demands. It’s been almost 4 years. No Botox. Except when it was opened up and its soul was cleansed some 6 months back. It came back refreshed. One fine day, its CD Drive popped open without being asked to. This became frequent in due course of time. It was like a stroke, in laptop terminology, a cry for help. I don’t know. But the day the drive first popped out surprisingly, I realized that those things had become obsolete. No self-respecting laptop wants it. A complete piece of shit, from a modern digital age perspective.

I have never seen a floppy drive in action. I did, however, had the honor of witnessing a Floppy Drive before they bowed down to evolution and were phased out to accommodate the CD drives.

But thanks to my laptop’s CD Drive’s cry for help, I was reminded of those days when CDs were the norm. That scratch-less, shiny rainbow-ish surfaces were alluring. Scratch CD pe nahi, dil pe lagta tha. Teachers too adopted the hipster way of asking us to submit projects digitally, on CDs. One lousy doc file or a PPT amounting to mere KBs submitted on a 700 MB CD. Dafaq? Pirated Himesh Reshammiya songs were sold in CDs for meagre sum. Oh and computer games – wonderful way of fucking one’s life. Classrooms were the exchange spots for computer games, music CDs, movies and whatnot. Encarta’s, Encyclopedia’s digital copies were exchanged in complete visibility of the teacher. Ladke padh likh ke naam roshan karenge, the teacher thought. Max Paynes, GTAs, IGIs exchanged hands hidden conveniently inside random notebooks.

Those delicate sensitive CD surfaces had to be provided additional security. Along came plastic CD cases, capable of accommodating a couple of the bad boys. Upgraded to CD wallets, comfortably holding tens of them bad boys. DVDs were a welcome upgrade in storage capacity. But what blew my mind were the re-writable CDs/DVDs. Those were a revelation straight from the heaven of digital age. And Nero – the magical software to write data onto the drives. What an age to be alive.

In the near future, the bulky, now useless CD drives will be replaced by an additional hard disk or something. They will be phased away for a more compact, more elegant storage medium, flashier than the flash drives. 2.0 USB ports are already making way for the 3.0 USB ports as our CDs lie peacefully, buried in their comfortable graves in some corner back home. Corrupted, forgotten.

Let’s vow not let the memories of Compact Disks fade away.

Late Night BS - When Your Wi-Fi/Mobile/Laptop Tank

When your Wi-Fi dies on you, you start exploring the rest of your laptop and realize there are a lot more applications installed besides your browser.

You dive into the storage, discovering a whole lot of things, scavenging through some weird folders created couple of years ago. The 2 year old you was weird but he was still you, so you decide not to delete the weirdness and hope your computer password is strong enough to prevent this from being exposed to the outside world, you know, where people judge people.

You end up watching a couple of episodes of F.r.i.e.n.d.s because when you have nothing, you have friends (the TV series of course).

A few minutes later your laptop gives up too because the U.P. government kicked in and electricity went back to it's hometown like 3 hours ago.

You power up your 'smart'phone to find some solace this time of the night/morning. You have no Wi-Fi as has already been established and an Airtel mobile connection is a myth. You end up listening to music, starting off with some soulful ones and all of a sudden Himesh Reshammiya nasal bombs your hearing abilities. It's time to update the playlist but...

'What do we say to effort ??'

'Not today.'

Your android 'smart'phone goes into power saving mode with one of the most annoying sound ever. You are helpless because it's still U.P. and power banks are a just expensive paper weights in these parts.

A little while later, your last escape from the reality - your phone tanks too.

You start introspecting. Guilt and shame surrounds you and that's when you, an atheist, turn into a theist, praying to the old gods and new (of Uttar Pradesh government) for the wonderful gift to humanity - bijli.

Cricket Needs to Give Associate and Affiliate Members a Chance

 

There have been soft murmurs advocating more involvement of non-test playing nations in ICC events and have become more vocal in the recent past. Ireland skipper William Porterfield recently asked ICC to increase the involvement of associates and affiliates so that cricket grows as a global sport in their respective countries. Netherlands made India work hard for their win back in a 2003 World Cup game, Ireland emerged as giant killers in 2007 WC. Afghanistan is making grown ass test playing nations piss their pants ever since they arrived. Taking a cue from Bangladesh team – a test playing nation, resembling an associate, finally seem to have come of age banking on exposure against their subcontinental neighbors. The question is why ICC has been trying to make cricket exclusive to test playing nations and inviting associates nations as and when it suits their interests? Wouldn’t it help throwing some cricketing experience their way right when they are in amazing form and filled with confidence?

Cricket began with one of fiercest rivalry in the sport between England and Australia leading to all that Ashes crap. Other than them, India, Pakistan, West Indies, South Africa and New Zealand were the only test playing nations for a long time, with South Africa suspended for a good 20 years owing to Apartheid. Limited overs cricket became a thing in the 1970s and the first World Cup was took place in 1975. Eight teams participated, including a sneaky little team from Sri Lanka, who were an associate nation back then. From then to now, the World Cup has gone on to include a mind boggling 14 teams and the next edition will feature 10 teams. To someone studying the history of cricket over time, this would be remarked upon as ‘an awfully snail-paced growth of an otherwise popular sport’ not to mention the ironical use of the word ‘world’. Sri Lanka became a test playing nation in 1982 and won a World Cup 14 years later. Not only that, they have made a name for themselves as a respectable cricketing culture which gave us remarkable players like Jayasuriya, Ranatunga, Sangakkara, Jayawardene and Muralidaran. Just one example of how proper cricketing exposure can do wonders for not only one country but the entire community as a whole. Ryan ten Doeschate of Netherland has a prolific batting average of 67 in ODIs but doesn’t get the credit he deserves, being from an associate nation. He’s impressive in IPL though. O’Brian brothers from Ireland have been good too. Kevin currently holds the record for the fastest century in an ODI world cup.

Potentially talented teams like Ireland, Netherland and now Afghanistan need an ample dose of big games on a regular basis to identify their strengths and weaknesses and keep evolving into a better side. Quality games against top test playing nations will prove instrumental in the growth of such teams to graduate to the level of teams like Australia, India and the rest and eventually earn test status. Such games should not be limited only to major ICC events as they amount to nothing over a longer period of time. "We played nine ODIs against top-ten teams in the last four years between the World Cups, which is nothing.” points out William Porterfield, the Ireland skipper. A decent confidence in the national side will inspire a generation of youth at the grass root level to aim for the highest level and prevent fizzing out of talent as seen in the case of Zimbabwe who are still searching for their next Heath Streaks, Andy and Grant Flowers. 

A good start would be to include more teams in the major ICC events instead of trimming down the size of the tournament every 4 years. World Cup 2019 will feature 10 teams, down from 14 in the 2015 edition. Instead of making the tournaments favorable for the test playing nations, it should promote even competition with a different format than being used currently, probably take a cue from FIFA World Cup. Another option would be for every team to play a qualifying tournament for ICC World Cups, including all the test playing sides as well. This would ensure the associate nations getting a shot against quality cricket. Associate and affiliate members of ICC could be invited to train and play in the domestic tournaments in the test playing nations. With the advent of multiple T20 leagues in different countries, this seems like a certain possibility. And the richer boards could provide monetary support to promote the game in member countries.

The most popular sport in the world – soccer is played in over 150 countries. Each of them has a shot at playing in the World Cup. The qualifying campaign is not taken lightly as every single country has to earn the right to play in the FIFA World Cup. The second most popular sport, which happens to be cricket has only 10-15 active countries in the public eye. This needs to change soon. Cricket can be addictive. The rest of the world needs to feel the addiction as well.

The Struggle to Adapt at Home After 4 Years of Hostel Life

Having lived in a carefree, responsibility free hostel life for 4 long, disappointing years, I’m learning to cope with the authority at home. I am not used to wake up early in the day. Okay maybe I am. I wake up at around 7 am but that’s mostly because of the obnoxious beds and slightly nauseous air of the hostel and even the slightest of noise, alarm in my case, is enough to force me out of the uncomfortable slumber.

However, my parents wake up at the dawn of the day – 5 am and by law of lineage I am supposed to inherit that property. My day usually begins at 8 or 9 am which is pretty damn late according to the Home Standard Time and pretty damn impressive by Hostel Standard Time. The usual taunts follow after my failure to break past the sweet lure of sleep – ‘Ghar pe itna late jaagta hai to hostel mein to sota rehta hoga. College to jaata nahi hoga nalayak.’

Hostel has no one to comment on your physical appearances – the overgrowing hair, smelly clothes and whatnot. At best they’d just ‘Ugh’ and move along. Deep down we all know that we suck and accept others who really do. Home is a different place altogether. Your bath patterns are scrutinized and in spite of your willingness, you cannot miss a bath. On top of that, your hairstyles, beards, moustaches are under constant monitoring. Weekly reports are prepared and sent to the Ministry of Home Affairs which in return sets a strict deadline for the haircut.

Another aspect that hugely differentiates lives in a hostel and home is the food. Hostels are hated in unison the world over. Food there is awful. At home, everything is a delicacy. But there are complications as well. Every night I have to answer the routine question – ‘Kal kya khayega ?’ and the same question annoyingly comes across every day. 4 years of eating in the hostel mess has made me averse to half the food products. I haven’t had Rajma since I started living in the hostel. At home it reminds me of the tasteless Rajma of the hostel. With the preferences for food drastically reduced, I run out of answers for the above question. And one day I just have to blurt out, ‘Kuch bhi bana lo.’ But unfortunately this doesn’t free me from the responsibility. A specific answer is a must.

Also it’s forbidden to skip a meal. But is so happens that due to rising late and the delays in the usual morning chores, sometimes it becomes necessary to merge the breakfast and lunch. Lunch is followed by a lighter munching-session in such a case.

My parents are early sleepers as well. Myself being habitual late sleeper, I’m left alone to fend for myself past the 9 o’clock period. It mostly includes regular trips to the refrigerator and kitchen and scavenging for edible things. Some trips lead to disappointment but mostly I come back with something or other. I lay down and wonder about life and future plans and how I should start spending my time productively. Then I watch a movie or something before embracing sleep.

So far, life is good.

The Stigma of Vegetarian Meal at KFC and Asking for Extra Ketchup

Quite a lot of my friends are non-vegetarians. So by unanimous polling, KFC is generally agreed upon as the mid-journey eating joint. Or in general whenever we feel like getting far away from the stinking mess food and we have adequate amount of coupons, KFC is the go-to place to hangout. I have no issues hanging out with friends who prefer the red packaging over the green one. But what sucks is being an out-of-place alien.

Let’s face it, us vegetarians are not supposed to frequent a restaurant named Kentucky Fried Chicken in the first place. But being with a group of friends, there aren’t really many alternatives when vegetarians are outnumbered. And there is nothing you can do about it. Instances when we vegetarians enjoy the majority come but rarely and those moments are cherished. So we are on the back foot the moment we enter that door.

It’s a sight worth something when the entire troupe places the order and there are a couple of veg burgers trying to discretely slip into the order receipt. The employees at the counter look up at us, silently confirming whether it was a mistake and if we’d like to reconsider our order. Then they scan through the group trying to figure out the odd ones. It must be a pretty neat game among themselves – guessing the number of vegetarian creeps each one of them comes across during the day. The loser gets to eat the veg meal.

Sometimes I could picture the employees handling the vegetarian meals the same way a stranger’s underwear is handled – with one hand covering the face, on the verge of throwing up. But that’s just my imagination. May be.

Anyway, once we get our order, the vegetarian meals stand out. The green packaging shining like a diamond in a mine of redness. It’s especially freaking in a crowded KFC when those forced to gobble their chicken wings and leg pieces and breasts and other body parts while uncomfortably standing up and one of them accidently looks at out green packaging while we cozy up at out tables. At least one of them must, MUST be cursing us,”BC ghaas khani hai to McD mein jaake mar na.” However, KFC has been gracious enough to accommodate vegetarian meals. There must be a sizeable populations of us that may have been too valuable to ignore.

Another practice that is looked down upon by employees regardless of your choice of packaging but especially if you happen to prefer the green one is asking for an extra pouch of ketchup. We should be gratified at being bestowed upon us that extra ketchup we asked for by the generous hosts, but instead we pile up our demands – certain flavor of ketchup, an extra straw, an extra napkin. And like crows, they hold a grudge against you if you dared to ask for one more sachet of that delicious ketchup.

It’s still kind of ironical – vegetarian meals at a restaurant named after a poultry bird. But as I mentioned before, on behalf of all vegetarians out there, I am grateful for KFC’s generosity to grant us some worthwhile options. I would normally prefer KFC burgers over the McD ones without having been paid a penny by KFC.