International Men's Day - As Commissioned by Women

Men, scientifically termed as asshole sapiens by the disgruntled women population have been generously assigned a day to give them an illusion of being special even if for one day. And contrary to popular beliefs, every day is not men’s day. That specially anointed day happens to be 19^th November, today. Just an FYI, today also happens to be the International Toilet Day. Well played ladies. Also Men’s day and Women’s day are kept months apart to prevent any harassment, keeping India in mind of course.

Fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends and the brutally friend-zoned fraternity generally constitute half the world’s population lovingly called ‘men’. The International Men’s Day is not supposed to be a competition to International Women’s Day. In fact it is an opportunity to highlight gender-specific issues of male health and wellbeing. So that’s that. However, it may be considered as a symbolic day against the inhumane behavior world’s husbands and boyfriends are subjected to throughout the year.

In this patriarchal society of ours, men are expected to be the bread-earners in a family. They are expected to take responsibility of the family. They are expected to be support their family by all means necessary and they do. And this has become a convention so much so that the lack of power in any manner hurts a man’s bubbling ego. However what hurts us men is the constant bashing that comes with being a man. Think about it and you’ll know what I mean.

A fair amount of injustice is directed at men for reasons known to women only. Men are supposed to pay for the dinner every fucking time in the name of chivalry. I mean financially they are almost always broke. Women should notice this when they are eyeing that fancy most expensive thing on the menu no one can pronounce properly and the boy or the grown ass man accompanying them is sitting there content with his glass of water desperately searching for the cheapest edible thing available because he is fucking hungry. Not to mention that this dinner of yours was financed by a joint dating account some handful of single friends came up with for occasions like this. And then instead of some gratitude women stomp on their hopeful hearts uttering thing like ‘I like you as a friend’. So much energy goes into controlling that rage.

Then there is a concept of ‘ladies first’. Regardless of whether it is deciding who gets on the lifeboats first in the Titanic or escaping the concentration camps, men have to abide by the social convention of ‘ladies first’. Women even have their own day before men in the calendar. Granted men have an urge to bring a smile on the ladies’ faces but there’s no acceptable reason for them to get the pizza first.

Also men are expected to please women, to propose marriage, to ask them out, to open gates for them, for husbands to run errands which I guess they brought upon themselves by proposing to begin with. All the name of chivalry - something women complain is dead even though it cannot logically exist in an equal society, which is something women wanted. It's one or the other.

I would gladly put this rant to fire if women show some gratitude for the good things men do. Some of them are dicks, agreed, but the majority of men are pure of heart and soul. So on this pious day blessed by the old gods and the new, I would request women to honor the courage and the bravery and the chivalry of men, pay for dinner at least today, open doors for us even if to bash it on our face for the remaining year, let us have beers, pizzas first and for the sake of God do not crib about toilet seats and towels on the bathroom floor. For once, allow gentlemen first.

So today is the International Men’s Day, where the fuck is my cake ??