Wednesday, 26 November 2014

5 Types of Texting Personalities

Texting is the shit these days. It is slowly replacing the calls of good old days when the other person’s voice was the most important part of the communication. Today the voice just annoys the shit out of us because it ain’t Eminem. Texting has a lot of benefits too, just like e-mails used to have back in the ancient times. You are attending a boring presentation or a meeting, and you cannot talk on the phone of course to kill the boredom, you have messengers. At least 10 of them. And almost all your friends are using those. And chances are that you will find 4-5 of them as bored as you. Life is sorted even during the most boring time.
Like every good thing, even this comes with certain disadvantages. When there are people involved, annoyance is a part of the package. Every texter has a personality associated with his style of texting. Here are some of them.

Shrtct maniacs

They convert the simple and pretty ‘how are you’ into tasteless ‘hw r u’. The so called sms lingo is anything but sensible and logical. For someone who would swear in court with one hand on Oxford’s Guide to Grammar, this practice is obnoxious beyond limits. The precious nano-seconds saved here are invested in wiping the ass for an added duration. Their whole life is a typo for that matter. For the record, it took me a few days to get the meaning of 'bfn'. I was too ashamed to ask the sender about it. These days, I worship Urban Dictionary as much as Google.
text 1

Pehle jitna ho gaya utna bhejta hoon

You receive their texts as one word per text message.
God save your sanity if your notifications are not on silent. And imagine the sender being a part of sms lingo gang too. The urge to block that person first off the phonebook then off the planet grows stronger with the each such message. But before that, I would message them back saying:

The Alzheimer Texters and Ignorers

One of the most annoying kind. They see a message and ignore it. Like you don't even exist. At times they make a mental note to reply later and forget where they stored that note. Ask them a question and they reply to you in their head thinking the reply will reach you automatically. Are they going to invent a mind reader app for such people? No I don't need it. Also by general convention, never trust a person who doesn’t reply to messages.
text 3

The Heirs of Wren and Martin

They take their time but make sure their messages do not cause any discomfort to any grammar nazi and punctuation nazi in the vicinity. They cross check every word and ensure that every punctuation mark is at its rightful place. When you are talking to them, they interrupt you at least thrice in each statement that you make, correcting your grammar and pronunciation. Once I sent a mail to my senior and marked it urgent. He corrected grammar and punctuation errors in it and sent me back without really replying to it. Talk about OCDs..
text 5

The Shakespeares of Texting

They are some devout worshipers of GRE word glossaries. They have a vocabulary so advanced, even the auto-correct shits itself ‘I got nothing man.’ A conversation between two of this type would be orgasmic to the likes of pseudo Shakespeare. Every night after talking to them I dream of my ex girlfriend reading out English Literature to me to teach me some of those words.
texting 4
And me? I talk to these people to observe how they text so that I can write about them and create cool graphics.

First published here - Campusghanta.

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