Thursday, 17 April 2014

5 Reasons Why iHate Smartphones


The turn of the century ushered a new era in the telecommunication fantasies. Phones could now be forced into pockets. Midway through the decade, phones turned into a miniaturized entertainment centers and Nokia phones, which were hot property to own in their times, were shifted to old age homes. Towards the end of the decade, these new age phones outsmarted humans. Smartphones were born. I hate smartphones. Here are the reasons…

Photo-pictures-pics-instagram…
These pic-addicts, with their smartphones, got one more reason to click the hell out of everything. They can now take pictures of shit from multiple angles, pass them through a damn filter and voila – epic shit.

Them touchscreens…
While I struggle to select one emoticon out of a million ones on WhatsApp, my friend has already replied emoticons with range wider than John Abraham entire domain of emotions.
This struggle slowly turns into frustration. Typing on non-touchscreen phones is a pain in the ass, slightly

Game of thrones…
Here thrones being the games on our dumb phones. The only things they are capable of are bouncing balls in random directions. Jo games mere laptop mein nahi chalet wo inke phones mein daudte hain. Painful this.

Dumb people with smartphones...
A major turnoff. A significant part of the population has an IQ difference of more than 50 between them and their phones. Interesting how their attire changes to sync with their latest smartphones.

I don’t have one...
So all in all, this is the reason. Jealousy constitutes majority of my hate. I have a Nokia, age 35 to a smartphone’s 20. Mine can survive in the era of smartphones, but just like Hugh Hefner, I want a younger one. In my friend circle, I am the odd one out now. I don’t like being one.

I apologies if this rant of a post has hurt your sentiments. You can now go back to your smart companions now. It would be ironical if you read this on a smartphone. Pardon my strong sentiment, but these smartphones put together with some of their owners are some obnoxious pieces of crap.

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