Saturday, 14 December 2013

Kejriwal's Letter to Sonia Gandhi


Desh ki maa Sonia Gandhiji,
Wassup ??

Anyway, you and your pet party said sometime back that you lot are ready to provide us with unconditional support. But our guys didn’t ask for anything like that, did we? Then what’s with this offer of yours. Our party was born to end your reign and your scams and the un-kept promises.

Your Sheila Dikshit ruled the national capital for 15 years, since when we were -14 years old. unke to naam mein hi shit hai. You crafted that little CWG scam of yours and the conmen worldwide were put to shame. Your promises to the people of the country remained just that – promises. Then why now have you offered us the support??

As far as we can see, your only aim is to form the government anyway possible and then backstab the faith the voters have trusted us with. But that ain’t happening unless you clarify your stand regarding the following issues that need answering…

1. Rahul Gandhi
Why don’t you guys send him to Pakistan or something so that India may benefit at their cost and you might get a couple of extra votes? I mean seriously, what you were thinking sending him to rally for Congress. Were you insane??

2. What’s the deal with your spokespersons??
I mean, Digvijay Singh, Manish Tewari, Kapil Sibal et al. Iran sent a monkey to space so please do ask your spokespersons to volunteer for India’s own mission on similar lines. See if aliens like them or not. This is an important issue we must agree to.

3. Stop fucking the nation. Take a break.
Matlab, itni jaan laate kahan se ho yaar?? You guys start humping as soon you form the government and your desperation is visible this time around too. Believe me, it’s disgusting. If we do accept your support to form the government, your party animals won’t be allowed to touch themselves, or anyone else for that matter.

4. PM candidate - kab, kahan, kaun ??
Its less than 6 months to go and you are still unsure of whom to put forth. Manmohan has been the best bet these two terms, but he won’t stand another round I guess. And if you think Rahul Gandhi is the next best option, you are doomed for life lady, trust me. Take that as friendly reminder and do address the issue ASAP.

5. Women Protection Bill
Considering what happened to Sheila ji and what seems destined to happen to you as well, women’s security should be your top priority. Like this if you agree.

We’ll WhatsApp and email you the rest of the document with detailed summary of the conditions we think would be fair to start thinking about your generous offer for unconditional support. Do clarify your stand. To quote Arnab, “The nation wants to know.”
Do reply ASAP and like our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter.

Thank you,
AAPka Baap,
Kejri.

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