Friday, 3 May 2013

The Story of a Viva !!



''Hello, what’s your name ??''
''Sir Alok.''
''Ok, so sir Alok, are you prepared ? What did you study ? “
Are you kidding me ! Who in hell prepares for a viva exam. The only things you need to know are the time and venue of the exam.

“Well not much sir, I just brushed up the basics.” By ‘basics’ I meant a couple of movies, senseless internet surfing and the subject’s name.
“So Alok, tell me what’s hfdhskfjh and how can we kdhfh hdhdj it ?''. It must have meant something sensible to the examiner. But to me it was as good as German to UP ke Bhaiya ji.

And honestly, my viva exam was over then and there. The real test after that was that of the examiner's patience.
''Um... Err... Ugh... It is... Err... But... Ummm.'' That was my answer, convincing enough had I been my own examiner.

''Ok.. Let’s try again. Tell me what is agstd ?'' I pitied his gullibility. He thought a different question would bring out a sensible answer out of me. So cute.
''Well sir, it is a circuit which uses the principle of agstd and it is used to design more complex agstd circuits.'' I could hear Faraday laughing his ass out, Maxwell jumping in front of a train and my examiner calculating which fan would support his weight if he tried to hang himself to one.
''No no no, those are ftnsht circuits you are talking about. Agstd circuits are a bit different. Anyway, let’s ask a simple one.'' He said, suppressing his temper.
''Bring it on.'' I challenged him, in my head.
''Define lsdhfdj law of djhfh.''
''Sir ye wala page nahi tha meri book mein L ''  

From his looks, it was evident that if he had an arms license, he would have been a mass murderer because, let’s face it, I am not the only of my kind, having a degree in pissing off viva examiners.
His questions and my replies together made it look like it was a boxing bout. He was good but just couldn’t tackle my counter-punches.

As Dr. Lanning would say, "I'm sorry, my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.

Normally, a professor, after having enough of geniuses like me, excuses them and asks them to leave the room. My examiner defied that protocol. With tears in his eyes, he silently stood up and left the room himself. He was never seen again.

I triumphantly walked out of the room.
oye viva kaisa gaya ??”
kya pucha bata jaldi ??”
Now, this one was a moment to cherish. Every student turns into a celebrity after their viva-exams, with his colleagues wanting to know the what, how and why of everything that happened in that room.
...

Arrey viva mast tha yaar. Saare questions ke answer diye. 
Asaan se questions pooch raha hai wo. 
Achha, kal kaun sa hai ??”


8 comments:

  1. enjoyed reading it,really :) I have to say,you use good analogies :)

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    1. thanks a lot miss... glad it was worth your time :)

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  2. this was hilarious!! and yes i experienced precisely this in firt year electricl tech viva :D n myslf being from comptuters, *electricl sucks*. fresh style of writing !!

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    Replies
    1. thank you priya.. i'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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  3. Awesome post dude! Reminded me of my school and college days :D

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  4. Haha. Couldn't be better. Loved it! :D

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